What is a rude gesture in Vietnam?

What gestures should you avoid in Vietnam?

I was in Hanoi, October 2023. Hàng Buồm street, the Old Quarter. The smell of grilling pork for bún chả was insane. I was starving. My name is Mike, I'm from San Diego, and this was my first time in Vietnam.

The stall was just this tiny place, packed with people on little plastic stools. I saw what I wanted, this perfect-looking bowl of noodles. So I just pointed. One finger, right at it. Like I would do anywhere back home.

The woman running the stall, probably in her 60s, her warm smile just evaporated. It didn't become a frown. It just… disappeared. The whole vibe changed in a second. I felt my face get hot. Total clueless tourist moment. I knew I did something wrong but had no idea what.

My friend Alex, who had lived in Saigon for a year, saw everything. He quickly said something to her in Vietnamese, ordered for us both, and pulled me over to a table. He told me later, "You never point with your index finger like that. It’s for things, not people, and it’s super disrespectful."

It's one of my strongest memories of the trip. You learn more from a mistake like that than from any guidebook.

Here's what I learned the hard way.

• Never use your index finger to point at a person. This is a huge one. It's considered aggressive and rude. To indicate someone or something, use your whole open hand, palm up.

• The "come here" gesture is reversed. Do not beckon someone with your index finger curled up. This is how you call a dog. To call someone over, extend your hand with your palm facing down and move your fingers toward you.

• Avoid touching someone's head. This includes ruffling a child's hair. The head is considered the most sacred part of the body. Touching it is a major violation of personal space and respect.

• Do not pass items with one hand, especially your left. The left hand is traditionally for personal hygiene. Always use both hands or your right hand to give or receive anything, from money to a business card. Using both shows the most respect.

• Crossing your fingers is an obscene gesture. That symbol for "good luck" in the West is a big no. It mimics female genitalia and is incredibly offensive. Absolutely do not do this.

Is pointing disrespectful in Vietnam?

Yeah, so, pointing is a tricky thing in Vietnam. It’s not a simple yes or no, you know? It’s more about the way you do it, and who you’re pointing at.

If you're trying to get someone's attention, like to call them over, you use your whole hand, palm down. Like a gentle wave, but the fingers are all together, pointing towards the ground. That's the polite way to signal someone to come here. It feels… softer, somehow.

And this thing about using your middle finger, with the other fingers curled in? That specific gesture isn't disrespectful in Vietnam. It’s actually a pretty common way to point, like you might use your index finger here, but they’ll do it that way. It's just a signal.

But, uh, pointing at someone directly while you're talking to them, that's definitely not okay. Like, if you're mid-sentence and your finger is right there, aimed at their chest. That comes across as really rude. It feels confrontational.

So, really, it's about the intent and the context.

• Summoning someone: Whole hand, palm down. This is the accepted and polite method.
• General pointing: The middle finger with other fingers closed is not considered offensive.
• Direct pointing at a person during conversation: This is disrespectful.

It's easy to get wrong, I guess. You're just trying to communicate, and then suddenly you've, you know, offended someone without even realizing it. It makes you think about how much we take for granted, the little gestures we use every day. They can mean so much, or so little, depending on where you are. It's a constant learning process, isn't it? Always something new to uncover.