Why are oysters so pricey?

Oysters! Ugh, why are they so expensive? They feel like such a decadent treat, you know? Like, a tiny little bite of the ocean, but one that costs more than a decent sandwich. I mean, I get some of it. I read somewhere – maybe it was a BuzzFeed article, haha – that some types take years to grow to a decent size. Years! Can you believe it? It’s not like they’re churning them out like…well, like chicken nuggets.

And then there’s the whole pampering thing. Remember that documentary I watched about Gillardeau oysters? They practically get a massage before they’re shipped! Seriously, it’s insane the amount of care they go through. It’s like, they’re not just oysters, they’re…oyster royalty. Which, I guess, explains the price tag.

Plus, shipping! Don’t even get me started. I once ordered some from the coast, thinking I’d save a little, but the shipping cost nearly doubled the price of the oysters themselves! It was brutal. My poor bank account. I felt like I was paying for express delivery on a tiny, delicate package of salty goodness.

It’s such a shame, because, oh my god, that first bite… that briny, salty, almost sweet flavour? It’s unbelievably good. Worth it, maybe, sometimes. But it’s definitely a splurge, something I only treat myself to on special occasions, you know? Like, maybe once a year, if I’m feeling particularly fancy… and my bank balance is cooperating. Otherwise, it’s back to the much more affordable… canned tuna. Sigh.