How long between shipped and delivered?

How long between “shipped” and “delivered”? Ugh, right? “Shipped” just means it’s somewhere out there in the vast, mysterious world of package delivery. It’s so frustrating! I swear, it feels like they just toss it onto a conveyor belt and yell, “Good luck!”

Remember that time I ordered that vintage record player? Said it shipped on a Tuesday. Didn’t get here until Friday of the following week. Friday! I was convinced it had fallen off the back of a truck, probably into a ditch somewhere in Nebraska. (Okay, maybe that’s a little dramatic.) But seriously, the not-knowing is the worst part.

Tomorrow would be ideal, wouldn’t it? A little burst of happy mail in my otherwise chaotic inbox. But knowing my spectacularly bad luck with shipping times, it’ll probably be a week, maybe even two. By then, I’ll have forgotten all about it, and then, bam! Surprise package! Although, that surprise might be tinged with mild annoyance by then, to be honest.

Why can’t they be more precise? I mean, I understand there are delays, things happen. But a vague “shipped” date? It’s like dangling a delicious carrot in front of a rabbit, then pulling it away every time the rabbit gets close. The anticipation is agonizing, I tell ya! It’s like waiting for a text back from your crush… except instead of a crush, it’s a slightly dented box containing a bath bomb or something equally mundane, yet equally crucial.