Is it better to check in early or late for a better seat?

Should you check in early or late for better seats?

Early bird gets the… better seat, duh! Like showing up to grandma's early for the good cookies, early check-in is your golden ticket to not being stuck next to Chatty Cathy or the guy with a sneeze like a howitzer.

Plus, who knows, you might even snag an upgrade. Think of it as playing the airline lottery, where showing up first actually matters. What's the deal with that, eh?

• Beat the Crowd: No one likes fighting for overhead bin space.
• Seat Selection: Window seat? Aisle? Exit row? The choice is yours... at least until the airline gods change the rules.
• Upgrade Possibilities: It's a long shot, but hey, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, said Wayne Gretzky. Or was it Michael Scott? Anyway, worth a try!
• Less Stress: I always tell my neighbor Phil, Less stress equals more vacation. Easy peasy!

Honestly, showing up late is like bringing a spork to a steakhouse. Why even bother? You're just asking for trouble. And middle seats. Gross.

Can you get an upgrade at check-in?

Airlines? Upgrades at check-in? Ha! Good luck with that, pal. It's like finding a unicorn riding a unicycle made of cheese. Forget about it.

Airlines are masters of Tetris, cramming people in like sardines in a tin can. They plan seating with the precision of a brain surgeon—a brain surgeon who's also a ruthless efficiency expert. No extra space, my friend, unless you're related to the CEO.

Secondly, if by some miracle they DO have extra space, they're charging a king's ransom for it. Think of it like this: they're selling that space for ten times its actual worth. It's highway robbery, I tell ya, highway robbery!

Why bother even asking? Save your breath for something more productive, like explaining quantum physics to a goldfish. Seriously.

Here's the lowdown:

• Zero chance (unless you're ridiculously charming). I mean, ridiculously charming. Like, you could charm the birds from the trees charming.
• Expect fees higher than my student loan debt. They'll bleed you dry! Prepare to mortgage your house.
• You're better off buying a lottery ticket. Your odds are approximately the same.

Last year, I tried this at LAX on a Southwest flight. Let's just say I felt the sting of defeat more keenly than the time my cat sat on my laptop. My friend Mike, however, managed to charm his way into business class once. Once! He had a really good tie. Maybe that's the key?

Bottom line: Don't get your hopes up. Manage your expectations. Buy a bigger bag of snacks instead.

Does checking in early get a better boarding group?

Ugh, boarding groups. Does checking in early actually help?

• Yup, it totally does. If you want a shot at boarding earlier, gotta be ready right at the 24-hour mark. My flight to Cancun last year proved that.

Okay, but how early are we talking?

• Exactly 24 hours before takeoff. Not a second later, swear.

Seriously? That intense? Like, what happens if I'm late?

• Five minutes late checking in? Prepare for the worst. Think middle seats and overhead bin fights. Been there, done that. No, thanks!

App versus website? Does it matter?

• App, website, makes no diff. Get in there, get your check-in sorted the second the clock strikes the hour.

I always wonder how much impact it makes. Maybe I should keep track.

• True, it's a bit of a crapshoot if you are traveling in a group. It is what it is!