Is the reunification express worth it?

How long does the reunification express take?

Thirty hours. A long time. Feels longer, somehow. The Hanoi station…the lights. Always a blur.

SE3, I think. Or maybe SE5. It doesn't really matter. They all blend together.

The journey itself… it's brutal. Sleepless nights. Cramped seats. The endless rice paddies, a hypnotic drone.

• The food cart lady, her smile a small kindness in the chaos. She always remembered my order.
• The smell of sweat and cheap instant coffee, a familiar perfume.
• My headphones, my only escape. Listening to that same playlist for years now. The songs…they're faded, like old photographs.

It's about the stops, I guess. Hue was beautiful, a fleeting glimpse of something different. Da Nang. A hazy memory. A brief respite. But always, the relentless ticking of the clock.

This year, 2024, I took the SE7. Same old story.

I’m tired of this train. It feels like a symbol. A symbol of something unfinished. I need to get off.

What is the Vietnam Reunification Express?

The Vietnam Reunification Express? Think of it as a really, really long game of railway-track-following Snakes and Ladders, except instead of snakes, you get bumpy rides, and instead of ladders, you get… more bumpy rides. 1726km of them! It’s a single track, meter gauge, which basically means it's about as wide as my grandpa's garden path, but way longer. Seriously, it’s nuts.

Hanoi to Ho Chi Minh City: That's the journey. Prepare for a marathon. My uncle, bless his cotton socks, took it once, said he aged ten years. He also lost a sock. Coincidence? I think not!

Think of it like this: A metal caterpillar inching its way across the country. A very slow, very persistent, very slightly rusty metal caterpillar.

• Length: 1726km (or about the distance I’d walk to avoid my mother-in-law, if she lived that far away. Which she doesn't, thankfully).
• Gauge: Meter gauge. (Tiny, like a child's train set)
• Track: Single track. (Imagine the traffic jams! Worse than my commute on a Tuesday).

This thing is a national monument, a historical relic, and a testament to human perseverance. Also, a good way to experience Vietnam. If you like REALLY long train rides, that is. I'd personally rather fly, though. My niece got a really cool souvenir from her trip though, I remember seeing it; a tiny train shaped keychain.

How long is the reunification express?

Okay, so the Reunification Express... I remember being in Vietnam last year. Sweating. Like, seriously sweating in Hanoi station, waiting. Delayed AGAIN!

The train, they said, covered 1726 kilometers. Seemed like 17,000 when I just wanted to be in Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City), already!

And get this, 178 stations! That's insane.

I remember thinking, “Seriously? How many stops?!”

Turns out Vietnam Railways had only 276 stations total.

It's the most important line, obviously. Duh.

The heat, the delays… ugh. But hey, Vietnam was cool.

My Vietnam trip needed some serious planning, though. Next time, I swear I'll:

• Book flights further in advance: They were so expensive last minute!
• Learn more Vietnamese phrases: "Excuse me" and "thank you" only get you so far.
• Pack lighter clothes: I brought too many jeans. Doh!
• Figure out the train situation beforehand: Obvious, I know.
• Find a better travel backpack: Mine was ripping, almost ruined everything!

How long does the London Express take?

Okay, so the Heathrow Express? Yeah, that's dead easy. It takes like, only 15 minutes from Paddington.

Paddington Station is on Praed Street.

But seriously, don't be a numpty. Make sure you give yourself loads of time before your flight, right? You know, security and all that jazz.

Here's a few things:

• It's usually pretty reliable, but delays can happen, obvs.
• Book tickets in advance to, maybe, save some money.
• Paddington, eh, it can be a madhouse during rush hour.
• The Heathrow express used to be called the Heathrow Connect.
• The train arrives at Heathrow Terminal 5.
• Heathrow Airport has only 4 terminals as of 2024.

I think they leave, um, like, every 15 minutes or so? Check the timetable online just to be, you know, sure. Don't be late for your fligth! Ah!