How many months can you be on a cruise?

Can you go on a cruise at 6 months?

Six months? Piece of cake! Unless you're aiming for a transatlantic jaunt, that is. Then you need to wait until they're twelve months old, or your little sea dog will be sent back to port faster than a politician’s promise. It’s like trying to take a chihuahua to a husky sledding competition. Just...don't.

Cruises for under-one-year-olds are a mixed bag. Some lines are totally cool with six-month-olds – except for long voyages. It's their policy, not my problem. I don't make the rules, I just follow them. Think of it like this:

• Short trips: Go for it! Babies love a good buffet, even if they only eat their own spit up.
• Long hauls: A hard no, unless you relish the idea of spending a month at sea with a screaming infant. My cousin did that once, still hasn't recovered. Literally.

Long voyages have stricter rules. Those transatlantic cruises are a different story. They're like a marathon, not a sprint. Those babies need their vaccinations, and their moms need more than just sippy cups. Seriously, those long cruises are insane, even for adults. Think of it as a prolonged game of musical chairs, but with seasickness and crying.

• Transatlantic: Nope, at least 12 months.
• Transpacific: Same as above.
• Hawaii: Also 12 months. It's a long flight too, dude.
• Australia/South America: You get the picture. Tweleve months, minimum.

My friend took her kid on a Caribbean cruise at 7 months. It was a disaster. A complete and utter, diaper-changing, vomit-inducing, sleep-deprived disaster. So yeah, consider that. I wouldn't. But that’s just me.

Can I go on a cruise 6 months pregnant?

Cruising at six months pregnant? Honey, that ship has sailed (almost). Most lines wave a white flag around the 24-week mark. Picture this: you, rocking a fabulous bump, suddenly needing onboard medical attention. No bueno.

Think of cruise ships as floating petri dishes. Well, not really, but you get the germ-phobia point. They're cautious for good reason: preterm birth isn't a pool party anyone wants to host mid-ocean.

• Why the cutoff? Medical facilities onboard, while impressive for a boat, aren't equipped for premature babies. (Sorry, tiny sailor!)
• Documentation? Yep, expect a doctor's note stating your due date and that you're complication-free. Some lines are stricter than my grandma critiquing my life choices.
• Exceptions? Rare. Like finding a decent avocado at the grocery store. Check directly with the cruise line. Always.

Here's the thing: enjoy mocktails by the pool, not medical dramas at sea. Maybe a nice beach vacation closer to home? Think zen, not, like, "Will I deliver on deck?"

Post-Cruise Musings: So, what is less risky than a cruise at six months? Knitting. Reorganizing your sock drawer. Finally learning how to fold a fitted sheet. The possibilities are endless! Just sayin'. I've even mastered sourdough. Well, almost.

How much do cruise ship workers get paid?

Forget the "around" nonsense. Cruise ship worker pay? It's a rollercoaster, man! Think $1500 to a cool $7000 a month. Seriously. My Uncle Barry, a former cruise ship bartender (yes, really— he’s got the stories!), swore he made closer to the higher end, especially with those "surprise" tips.

The Low-End Crew: Picture this: Guest services? Activities team? Think of them as the cruise ship's glorified unpaid interns. They get the short end of the stick, salary-wise. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there, I tell ya.

High Rollers (relatively speaking): Room stewards? Fancy restaurant staff? These cats are swimming in dough. Gratuities are their bread and butter – or should I say, caviar and champagne? Like, way more than $7000 if you’re good.

Payment Methods? Direct deposit, mostly. Not like they get paid in seashells, ya know. Plus, a small mountain of tips (mostly from the kind, rich people who don't want to see their beloved cruise ship crew looking, how do I say, "underwhelmed").

Pro Tip: Don't be a cheapskate. Tip your cruise ship crew. They work their butts off. Seriously, more than my friend Dave who once tried to work three jobs at once, which ended as spectacularly as you’d expect!

• Low-end salaries: Think less than $2000. They basically live on ramen and hope.
• High-end salaries: Could easily hit $10,000+ with tips. They're basically living the high life!
• Payment: Direct deposit. No more pirate chests filled with gold doubloons. Bummer, right?
• Tips are HUGE: Seriously, a huge chunk of their income comes from tips. So be generous!

My cousin, Sarah Jane (a former cruise ship dancer – trust me, she has the photos) said that on her good months it was more like $12,000. Don't believe me? Ask her. Or don't; it could take a while. She’s a tad busy with her newest career as a yoga instructor. A very successful one.

Is working on a cruise ship worth it?

Nah, dude. Cruise ship jobs? It's like being a hamster on a wheel, only the wheel is a giant floating hotel and the hamster food is slightly stale pizza.

Pros: Free room and board, kinda. Think dorm life, but with seasickness. And you get to see some cool places, briefly, between frantic cleaning sessions. You'll meet people from every walk of life. Expect lots of drama. My cousin Brenda met her future ex-husband on one. True story.

Cons: You'll be working your butt off. Forget weekends. Forget sleep. Forget personal space. Your roommate will definitely snore like a walrus with a head cold. Contracts are long. Think of it like solitary confinement, but with slightly better views. The pay? Let’s just say you won't be buying a yacht anytime soon. My Uncle Tony tried it. He now works at a carwash. He’s happier.

Think of it as a really long, expensive gap year. Expect to smell faintly of chlorine and despair by the end. Seriously, the smell clings. My friend Stacy still smells faintly of chlorine two years later.

Bottom line? If you're desperate for adventure and don't mind living like a sardine in a can, go for it. Otherwise, find a job closer to home. You'll thank me later. Unless you meet the love of your life on board. Then, maybe not.