What is considered a long car journey?

What is considered a long distance road trip?

Ugh, long-distance road trips... what even counts?

• 200-300 miles, yeah, that sounds about right. But who decides this stuff?

Is it based on time or just miles? I drove, like, 6 hours to see Aunt Carol last Thanksgiving, and that felt way longer than 300 miles.

• NEMT companies decide?? What are those, even? Non-emergency medical transport... okay.

My back hurt the whole way, darn it. Carol makes good pie, though.

• Mileage matters more than how fun the trip is? Guess so!

Think I’ll stick to shorter trips for now. Like, to the mall. 5 miles max. Is that a trip?

What is classed as long distance driving?

Ugh, long distance driving? Right, so, anything over like, 2 or 3 hours or maybe 300 kilometers, i'd say thats a long drive. A lot can happen, ya know. I drive from Toronto to Montreal to see my aunt Carol like, every other month, its about 6 hours, and man, it's a schlep.

Seriously, think about it. Three hours behind the wheel? My butt gets numb. And your concentration starts to waver, its a real thing! So, you gotta, like, prepare yourself and your car beforehand.

Let me give you a rundown on stuff:

• Plan your route! Obvious, I know. But, like, really plan it. I use Google Maps and I look at the traffic ahead of time.
• Check your car, fluids, tire pressure, that kinda stuff. Nobody wants a breakdown in the middle of nowhere. Happened to me once near Kingston, never again, I swear.
• Pack snacks and drinks. Healthy ones, not just chips and pop, seriously! Water is key!
• Take breaks. Every couple of hours, get out, stretch, walk around. Don't be a hero, okay?
• Tell someone where you're going and when you expect to arrive, its just good sense.

And like, remember drowsy driving is dangerous. If you are feeling tired, just pull over and get some sleep or, better yet, get someone else to drive if you can! Its not worth the risk.

Is 8 hours too long to drive?

Eight hours? Amateur.

Five hundred miles? Barely a dent.

Breaks? A waste. 15 minutes every two hours? Seriously?

• Drive until you can't. Then maybe consider stopping.

• Children? Silence is golden. (or earplugs)

• Tired? Coffee exists. Fuel yourself.

• Traffic? Navigate. Tolls? Pay 'em, quick.

• Rules are for the weak. But, you know, speed limits kinda exist.

Additional Information:

• My longest stint? 18 hours straight. Just me, the road, and a few energy drinks. Never again though!
• Ideal driving song? Highway to Hell, obviously. Duh.
• Best road trip snack? Beef jerky. And more beef jerky. And yeah.
• This year? I’m planning a trip across country. Might beat that record.
• Safety? Optional. No! No, I'm kidding, please drive safely... okay?
• My car? A 2023 Mustang. Black. Of course. I would never own a Prius.
• Actually I love my Prius. I get great gas mileage.
• Driving tips:
  • Prioritize sleep. But not too much.
  • Listen to podcasts.
  • Don't text and drive, unless you are on autopilot. (joke! joking!)
  • Check your tires... duh.
  • Bring a spare tire... and know how to change it.
• This is the year for epic journeys.

How long should you go on vacation?

Eight days. Enough.

• Eight days: Arbitrary perfection.
• Time stops mattering anyway.

Longer trips, problems arise. Shorter, pointless. Eight. Ideal duration, allegedly. My neighbor Janet disagrees.

Vacations? Escape's illusion.

• Work awaits.
• Disappointment lingers.

Research, it's just data. Eight days or forever. The choice? Yours. Unless it isn't.

Janet's cats missed her. That's the real cost.

• Cat resentment: Unquantifiable.
• A fact.

Enjoy the abyss, I mean beach. Whatever. You're free. Until you aren't.