What is the longest possible route by train?

What is the longest possible train journey?

Forget your piddly little cross-country trips! The absolute longest train journey? Think bigger. Way bigger. We're talking a rail odyssey that'd make Odysseus weep with envy.

18,755 kilometers? Amateur hour. That's like a gerbil's marathon compared to what's truly possible. My uncle Barry (a liar, but a fun liar) swears he once took a train trip that took a whole year.

Think global, my friend. This trip takes three weeks; a mere blink in the grand scheme of things, a brief intermission in the opera of existence. Thirteen countries? Psh, rookie numbers. I bet you need more visas than that to get into my cat's good graces. Seven? Pathetic.

• Countries: My calculation puts it closer to 27, give or take a small, insignificant nation. Maybe some tiny island we accidentally ran over.
• Visas: Forget seven. My passport resembles a Jackson Pollock painting with all the stamps. Seriously, my wallet is constantly groaning under the weight.
• Time: Three weeks? I've spent longer waiting for my pizza. It's more of a month-long adventure.

This isn't just a train ride, it's a life-altering experience. Expect bizarre food, questionable hygiene, and enough delays to make you question the meaning of time itself. It's awesome. You know, for a long trip. My friend Mark's sister's cousin did this last year. He's now convinced he saw Bigfoot. No proof, of course. But the man's definitely got stories. I bet there are more delays now. Fuel prices and all that. 2024 is insane.

What is the longest possible train journey?

Longest train? 18,755 km. Three weeks. Thirteen countries. Seven visas.

• No U-turns.
• No boats.
• No planes, duh.

Vladivostok to Portugal. Simple. So what? A life less traveled. Just a train.

It's about endurance. My neighbor's cat makes longer trips.

What’s the point, really?