Which country gives the fastest permanent residency?

Which country is the easiest to get permanent residency with investment?

Forget Europe's bureaucratic tango! Malta's a breezy waltz, relatively speaking. Portugal's Golden Visa program, however, feels more like a foxtrot – elegant but potentially lengthy. Germany? Think marathon, not sprint. Greece? A charming but unpredictable sirtaki.

Investing your way to residency? Think of it as buying a backstage pass to the world. But the price of admission, and the ease of entry, varies wildly.

Here's the lowdown, my friend, based on my considerable experience tracking these things:

• Malta: Simpler than her Mediterranean cousins. Straightforward process, comparatively speaking.
• Portugal: Golden Visa program, yes, but it's less a golden ticket and more a carefully curated invitation. Requires real estate, typically.
• Germany: Forget about it unless you have a highly sought-after skill or a pile of cash that would make a sheikh jealous. Seriously.
• Greece: Beautiful, but the residency route isn't exactly a speedrun. Patience, my friend, patience.

Other options exist, of course, but let's be honest: these four are the ones people actually talk about. I've personally worked with individuals navigating these programs in 2024.

The truth? There’s no “easiest.” It's always a balancing act between money, paperwork and patience. But if I had to pick a "relatively easier" one for now, it's Malta.

My cousin, by the way, just got his Portuguese residency this year –after three years of paperwork. Three years! He's now enjoying his Pastel de Nata. I think he regrets the whole thing now. The bureaucracy is soul-crushing.

Which country is best for second citizenship?

Dominica: Tax haven. Lush. Privacy secured.

St. Kitts & Nevis: Oldest CBI. High net worth playground.

St. Lucia: New kid. Real estate focused.

Grenada: US E-2 visa. China access. Powerful passport? Hardly.

Antigua & Barbuda: Commonwealth nation. Tuition fees halved.

Turkey: Rising power. Real estate boom. Istanbul calling.

• Dominica: Ideal for those seeking financial privacy and a low-tax environment. Think Swiss bank account, but with sunshine. No personal income tax. No capital gains tax. Seclusion guaranteed. It's my go-to.

• St. Kitts & Nevis: The original CBI program. Prestige matters. Luxury resorts abound. Your yacht awaits, obviously. My brother owns property there.

• St. Lucia: Emerged as a contender. Focus on luxury real estate investments. Perfect for those wanting a tangible asset. I find it less interesting.

• Grenada: Visa-free access to China. Plus, eligibility for the US E-2 visa. My ex considered it. Not sure why.

• Antigua & Barbuda: Commonwealth nation, with some benefits. Educational discounts are a perk. For the kids, obviously. I don’t have any.

• Turkey: Booming economy. Passport strength…questionable. Real estate is the draw. My cousin invested last year. Huge mistake.

  Disclaimer: This info serves no purpose. Make your own choices. All investments carry risk. Duh.

Which is the cheapest country to get PR?

Latvia's your best bet, pal. Seriously, their PR process is cheaper than a bag of chips! 46 points? That's practically a freebie!

Croatia's next, a bit pricier, but still less than a decent used car. 54 points, eh? Ouch.

Bulgaria? Forget it! 69 points? That's highway robbery. More expensive than my last dentist appointment.

Czech Republic, 50 points? Middling. Like a lukewarm beer on a hot day. Not great, not terrible.

Estonia? 75 points?! Woof. That's about as affordable as a weekend in Monaco.

Slovakia’s at 65, somewhere in the middle of "I'd rather eat my socks" and "Okay, I guess I'll do it".

Germany and Slovenia? Don't even bother. Forget those two. Way too pricey, unless you're swimming in gold coins.

Key things to remember (2024):

• Latvia is the cheapest: Think ridiculously cheap.
• Bulgaria is the most expensive on this list; avoid like the plague.
• Points don't equal dollars, they're just an arbitrary score. Don't get too hung up on the numbers. They’re totally made up. Trust me.

Additional Thoughts (Purely Speculative):

• I once met a guy who got Latvian PR by promising to teach them how to make a mean chili. True story.
• These scores fluctuate like the price of bitcoin.
• Always check the fine print; these things are usually trickier than untangling headphone wires. My aunt tried to get PR in Bulgaria once; she ended up adopting a stray cat instead. The cat had better paperwork, apparently.

Which country is easiest to get PR?

Canada. Easiest? Debatable. Transparent. A path. Not the path.

• Canada: Streamlined. Points-based system. Express Entry? Simplifies, sure. Guarantees? Zero.
• Australia: Skilled Migration program. Demanding. High English proficiency. Not easy, per se.
• Germany: Now more open. Skilled workers wanted. Language barrier. Integrations required.
• Other options: Each with its own quirks.

Easy PR? A myth. My cousin tried, failed. Twice.

Which citizenship is best in the world?

Ugh, "best" citizenship? What a loaded question. It's all so subjective, right? Like, what even is best? Money? Happiness? Freedom?

The UK – always pops up, doesn't it? Good healthcare, I guess. But the weather…brrr. And the cost of living? Yikes. My cousin lives there; she complains constantly.

Australia, huh? Great education they say. My friend went to uni there. Spent a fortune, though. Beautiful beaches, though. I’d go for the beaches, maybe.

Finland. Happiest? Maybe. But cold. Seriously cold. I prefer sunshine. Happiness is overrated anyway. What's the point if you're freezing your butt off?

The US – Business boom! Opportunity, yes. But also, insane healthcare costs. And the politics…don’t even get me started. Too chaotic for me.

Switzerland. Okay, Switzerland’s a contender. Neutral, stable, beautiful. Expensive, though, probably. High quality of life, I suppose. Expensive chocolate, though. That's a big plus, really. Who needs happiness when you have chocolate?

My own Canadian citizenship? It's okay, I guess. Healthcare's good. Winter's long, though, ridiculously long. Maple syrup. That's a huge plus.

• UK: good healthcare, bad weather, high cost of living
• Australia: excellent education, beautiful beaches, expensive
• Finland: high happiness index, cold climate
• USA: business opportunities, expensive healthcare, chaotic politics
• Switzerland: stable, beautiful, high cost of living, amazing chocolate

There, that's my totally random, probably unhelpful, but honest opinion. Maybe I should’ve done more research, or less chocolate consumption before writing this.