Which country had the best trains?

Which country has the most beautiful trains?

Norway, hands down. Their trains are like, seriously gorgeous. Think less choo-choo and more wow-choo.

The Nordland and Bergen lines? Forget scenic routes, these are scenic orgasms. Seriously.

• Mountains? Check. Higher than my ex's expectations.
• Fjords? Deeper than my debt.
• Views? So breathtaking, I nearly choked on my knekkebrød.

Switzerland is a close second, but their trains are all sensible and practical, like my accountant. Norway's are pure, unadulterated train-porn.

My cousin, Bjorn, swears the Bergen line smells faintly of lingonberries. I haven't verified this, but I'm inclined to believe him. Bjorn's a reliable source... mostly.

Lonely Planet? Yeah, they're alright. But even they undersell the awesomeness. This isn't tourism, it's a religious experience.

Norway's got that je ne sais quoi, that train-je ne sais quoi. It's magic, I tell ya, magic! Pure train-based wizardry. Don't @ me.

Which country has the most advanced trains?

Okay, so advanced trains, huh? China, hands down.

I was at the Shanghai Pudong Airport back in October 2023. Had a flight to catch, obviously.

• Crowded, you know?

Anyway, saw this thing, the Shanghai Maglev. Thing looked like it was from the future!

• Sleek, all curves and silver, whoa.

Apparently, it uses magnets! Seriously blew my mind. Supposed to be the fastest commercial train on the planet.

• Maglev tech is amazing, obviously.

Didn't ride it myself. My flight, you know. But just seeing it, speeding off to... wherever it went, was something else. Other trains in China are also amazing.

• China Railway Harmony (CRH380A): Fast, very fast.

• China Railway Fuxing: Super modern.

Yeah, definitely China. No contest.