What to do when a guy is giving you the bare minimum?

Ugh, the bare minimum. Don’t you hate that? Like, when a guy is just doing the absolute LEAST. What do you do? It’s so frustrating! You’re putting in effort, right? And he’s just… there. Like a potted plant. Maybe a slightly wilting one.

First, I think you gotta be upfront. Seriously. Tell him what you need! What you really need. Sometimes, and I’m totally guilty of this too, we think guys should just know. Like, magically. But newsflash: they don’t. One time, I was dating this guy, and I kept waiting for him to plan something – anything! – and he just…didn’t. So, finally, I just blurted out, “I’d love it if you planned a date sometime!” He looked so surprised! He actually planned a really cute picnic after that. So, communication is key.

Show him, don’t just tell him. If you want him to put in more effort, put in the kind of effort you want to see. It kind of sets the standard, you know? Think about what you actually expect. Are your expectations reasonable? Maybe you’re expecting Prince Charming and he’s more of a…court jester. No offense to court jesters, they’re cool, but, you get my drift. Setting boundaries is important too. Like, if he’s consistently late, tell him it bothers you! “Hey, being on time is important to me. Can you try to be more punctual?” Something like that. Constructive, not attacking.

Now, you’ve talked to him, you’ve shown him what you want, and he’s still…bare minimum-ing you? Then honestly, what are you getting out of this? Seriously, ask yourself that. Is this relationship – if you can even call it that – actually meeting your needs? Probably not. Sometimes, walking away is the best thing you can do for yourself. It’s hard, I know, but worth it in the long run. Trust me on this one.