Which side should a person not sleep?

Which side of the bed shouldn't you sleep on? Ugh, don't even get me started. Sleeping with my head pointed north? Absolutely dreadful. I swear, it feels like I'm wrestling a grumpy badger all night. I wake up feeling like I've been run over by a truck – stiff neck, pounding headache, just completely wiped out. Seriously, it's awful.

I mean, maybe it's all in my head, right? Probably. But I've tried it enough times to know, for me, it's a recipe for a terrible day. East or west? Much better. I feel so much more rested, you know? Like I actually slept, not just lay there twitching.

Remember that time I tried that new sleep app? It told me to orient myself according to the magnetic field or something? I tried north, following it religiously, and ended up with the worst migraine of my life. I even called in sick to work that day! Never again. So, yeah, I'm a firm believer in the power of sleeping east or west. I don't know if it's science, or magic, or maybe just placebo, but hey, if it works, it works. North? Hard pass. I'd rather sleep on the floor, honestly.