Is it possible to ride on top of a train?

Can you ride on top of a train?

Riding atop a train? Oh honey, no. Unless you’re auditioning for a Darwin Award.

It’s illegal practically everywhere. Think global zero-tolerance train-surfing policy is a thing. The railway police? They’re not playing. Imagine explaining that to Mum!

Think of it as a high-speed, metal jungle gym guarded by very serious people. The fun stops… immediately.

Why risk it? Netflix is cheaper and less… terminal.

More Intriguing (and legal) Rail Facts:

• Hyperloop Fantasy: Instead of clinging to a speeding carriage, dream of Elon’s Hyperloop? I’m still waiting for that to happen, and I wouldn’t trust it.
• Modern High-Speed: Instead, go to Japan. Their trains are pretty slick, not to mention inside.
• Toy Trains: I used to love to play with toy trains when I was five years old! Don’t ride those.
• Subway Surfing: Similar to train surfing. It is very dangerous!

Zero Tolerance? Zero Fun!

Railway companies frown mightily. Big surprise. They’re so serious about safety, you’d think they were protecting gold bars! (Maybe they are?) Seriously, the guards won’t even let you try it. Not kidding.

Exceptions? Hmm…

Yeah, about those exceptions, don’t count on it. Maybe, just maybe, a low-budget Bollywood movie needs a stuntman. Even then, I prefer the popcorn.

Railway Police: Not Your Fan Club:

They’re less like friendly neighborhood cops and more like… well, railway police. They carry radios. They’re probably not the type for casual conversation about your daredevil aspirations.

Can you stand on top of a train?

No way, man! Standing on a moving train? Seriously dangerous. End of story. You’d get slammed to the ground.

• Seriously, no.

• Why would you even think about that? Ballast hurts. A lot.

• Movies are fake.

Yeah, ballast, those rocks beside the tracks. Remember that time I tripped on some? Scraped my knee bad.

• Death is highly likely.

• Think physics. Inertia. Wind.

• Trains aren’t flat!

Ugh, reminds me, gotta call Mom later. Did I pay that phone bill? Anyway, trains: super-NO.

• No, it is 100% not possible.

• Even if you could stand… what about bridges?

• And the electric wires? ZAP!

Plus, walking? Running? Forget about it. I saw a bird get blown off once! Poor thing.

Is it possible to walk on top of a train?

Walk a train roof? Well, sure…if you fancy becoming a human kite.

• Wind is not your friend. Trains at even a measly 20 mph make you face a 20 mph wind, westward. I once tried fighting a 10 mph breeze with a bad umbrella. It ended badly.

• 40 mph is definitely your foe. Forget walking. Running? Hilarious. You’d be clinging on for dear life, looking like a confused squirrel in a hurricane.

• Think of it: Physics laughs at movie logic.

• Aerodynamic drag is brutal. It’s not just the wind. Imagine trying to push a barn door sideways at speed. That’s you, only dumber, on a train.

Speaking of movies, ever notice how the train tops are conveniently flat? Reality check: they are riddled with vents and other trip-inducing paraphernalia. Darwin award nominee, anyone? Also my sister thought wind resistance was when you resisted the urge to fart. She’s… special.

What is the safest place to sit on a train?

Ah, the safest seat on a train… let’s unravel this railway riddle.

Live Science, bless their hearts, suggests the middle cars are your best bet. Apparently, trains prefer solo acts—derailing nine times more than, well, crashing into each other like bumper cars at a particularly unruly amusement park.

So, the front? Risky business. The back? Also dicey. Think of it like this: you’re a jelly donut, and the front and back cars are where the jam always squirts out. No one wants that!

• Derailments: Front cars take the scenic route first.
• Collisions: Front or back get the… impact.
• The Middle: Your best shot at arriving relatively un-smooshed.

But hey, statistics are like bikinis: they show a lot, but they hide the important bits. Maybe pack a helmet anyway. And a good book. Because let’s be real, train journeys are mostly about existential dread masked by pretty landscapes.

You see, I once took a train to Sheboygan, Wisconsin, thinking it would be a picturesque adventure. I ended up sharing a seat with a man who insisted on reciting limericks about cheese curds. Middle car didn’t save me from that particular brand of torment, did it?

Where are the best places to sit on a train?

Window seats, duh. But consider:

• Sun exposure. Avoid direct sun. Scorching.
• View. Scenic side wins. Obviously.
• Motion sickness. Aisle seat helps. My experience.

2024 Update: My preferred Amtrak route, Chicago to Milwaukee, offers stunning lake views south-side. Avoid the north unless you enjoy industrial landscapes. Personally, I always choose aisle for bathroom access.

Avoid end cars – rougher ride. My personal opinion based on numerous trips. Confirmed. Upper berths are cramped. Fact. Consider that.